A year ago I pushed a human being out of my body. Now he (lovingly) smears frosting on my pants. But, it is sugar free frosting. A lovely tasty one in the case of the cake my sister made him. A gloppy mess in the case of the cake that I made. Yes, he had two parties. No, they were not Pinterest worthy. Well, maybe Autie's cake was.
I don't want to shortchange the kid, but I may also be the only mom who was also kind of hoping it would be "dada." It seems only fair considering he spends all day with him.
My masters thesis examined how women have used the socially accepted role of "mother" to work towards peace. It had a 23 page bibliography.
I refrained from using any footnotes in my recent Patch blog on the origins of Mother's Day and the many organizations using Mother's Day to call attention to maternal and infant mortality the world over.
I also talked about how I can't wait to get handmade cards and macaroni necklaces.
If my kid gets antsy all I need to do is start singing. One day my mom and I needed a new song to sing while she made dinner (thanks, mom!) and I cleaned up the kitchen so we started singing this classic. Neither of us could remember all the words so we just started singing, "la, la, la, la." Turns out those geniuses at Sesame Street in all their 1970s pro-child (and bell bottoms, and polyester shirt) amazingness knew that mom brain could only handle two verses and those are the actual words to the chorus!
But, they also may have proven their knowledge of child development. Last night I was singing this over and over to my kid who, according to my friend studying speech pathology, is at the "jargon" stage in his language development. He doesn't use actual words, but can have a whole conversation and tell you all about his day in words we aren't privy to. After two rounds, he started singing along with the "la, la" chorus. Every. Time.
Well, at least until his dad came in and I tried to show him that our son is obviously a musical genius.
When my sister was a toddler, the pediatrician assured my mother that babies can live on a tablespoon of solid food a day. My kid, on the other hand, eats more than most adults do for breakfast. I can only imagine the grocery bill when he's in high school. Growing a giant is gonna be expensive.
My baby loves music. Probably because his dad loves it, too. They spend a lot of the day listening to records and making music. Adam actually helped make this one. He did the cover art while we were waiting for the kid to arrive and had a really fun time with it.
That's the theme of this record - fun, fun, fun. One or another of Adam's bands has been on Asian Man Records for last fifteen years or so, and I can attest - dude is fun. When he's not making music and running the label, Mike Park is busy marrying us and everyone else we know. Seriously, if you need someone to marry you, he is really good at it. Your ceremony will be romantic and heartfelt, but also super fun.
He is also really good at making kids music. All the big kid and baby blogs (and punk news sites) have been all over this record. Mike has two ridiculously adorable kids of his own to inspire him so I'm not surprised.
So (shameless plug), if you buy this record I would suggest foregoing iTunes and getting the CD version through good old fashioned mail order, it looks like a Little Golden Book and it comes with crayons so your kid can color the coloring book pages inside. See...FUN!
A couple of weeks ago I got to hang out with a friend's 10 year-old daughter. She was pretty awesome. We discussed how growing pains suck and the finer points of popular culture (Tiger Beat still exists!). Turns out she is not alone.
10 year-old Eliza in Indiana was inspired to write an "editorial" to the boys of the world after reading answers to the question, "What's the biggest difference between boys and girls?" in a Mini Boden catalogue.
Some highlights:
Dear Boys from around the World,
There is just one ting I have to say before I go on. STOP BEING SO STEREOTYPICAL!
...Like I said I HATE pink. I despise it. HACK See I spat on it. That's how much I hate pink.
...For one thing though I do like nail polish, but not just Boys like soccer. For example my friend Heidi is a master soccer player. You mess with her, she kicks you in the shins, or maybe just trips you on the field. Seriously I think you should stay away. For reals.
I'm with 'ya, Eliza. I also hated pink, purple and dresses. You can read the whole thing here.
For those of you who don't know me in real life, this is happening. He's quite a bit bigger now, but this week the tech only gave us pictures of his junk or slightly creepy skull faces.
Despite the crazy science experiment that has become my body, it is really, really awesome. I was hesitant to start posting about pregnancy/parenting, but with this post I'm officially giving myself permission.
I have an increasingly proven theory that if you have a degree in Women's Studies or are a Women's Studies professor you are pretty much guaranteed to have a boy. Perhaps it is the universe saying we need more feminist men. Or, perhaps it is the universe's way of letting us off the hook so we don't have to deal with an onslaught of pink princess crap (though if down the line he wants to be a pink princess, more power to him). Either way, over the last few months my blogging brain has been going non-stop without an outlet, so I'm gonna give it one. Just don't start calling it a mommy blog.
First grader, Katie, loves Star Wars. But, she was bullied for carrying a Star Wars water bottle to school, because "it's only for boys." Her mom became aware of the taunting when Katie decided to take a pink water bottle to school instead, because she didn't want to be thought of as any more different than she already was:
"Katie, it is okay to be different. Not all girls need to drink out of pink water bottles," I told her.
"I don't want to be too different," Katie lamented. "I'm already different. Nobody else in my class wears glasses or a patch, and nobody else was adopted. Now I'm even more different, because of my Star Wars water bottle."
Needless to say, the interwebs would certainly not let this stand. Thanks to an initial push from Cake Wrecks, all the geek-girl celebrities took to Twitter to make sure Katie's story made the rounds. Over 3,000 people have left comments on two of her mom's posts letting Katie know that girls can like Star Wars as much as they please - including the actress who voiced Padme in The Clone Wars:
"I am [the] actress who has the great honor of being Padme Amidala on 'Star Wars: the Clone Wars!' I just wanted to tell Katie that she is in VERY good company being a female Star Wars fans," Taber wrote. "I know that Padme would tell you to be proud of who YOU are and know that you are not ALONE!
"THE FORCE is with you Katie!"
She, and other members of the LucasFilm universe, sent Katie Star Wars toys and clothes, including her own lightsaber. Of course, because Katie is awesome, she is donating much of it to other children.
Today has also been declared the day to support Katie, geeky girls and anti-bullying by wearing Star Wars paraphernalia and donating geeky toys. Proving not only that girls can like whatever they want to, but that they can also be members of awesome communities.
PS: As further proof that Katie is not alone, this little girl also knows what's up.
I'm glad to know her rendition does not include the blasphemy that is the new CGI revamp.
This burned through the internet yesterday, but I think it bears sharing because it is simply an example of an awesome kid, his awesome mom, and her awesome parenting.
That adorable kid is Boo, he is five, he loves Scooby Doo, and for Halloween he wanted to go as Daphne. So his mom, Cop's Wife who blogs at Nerdy Apple Bottom, bought him a Daphne costume and let him wear it to preschool.
It is a once a heartbreaking tale of homophobic parents and a five year old who already seems to understand that wearing a skirt and wig as a costume will cause him to be judged. But more importantly it is an example of awesome parenting. Boo's mom supports her kid and stands up to the bullies for him, even if they are three feet taller and three decades older than him, and wrap their bullying in the guise of "concern."
And, as she so smartly argues:
If you think that me allowing my son to be a female character for Halloween is somehow going to ‘make’ him gay then you are an idiot. Firstly, what a ridiculous concept. Secondly, if my son is gay, OK. I will love him no less. Thirdly, I am not worried that your son will grow up to be an actual ninja so back off.
These kids are amazing. I hope they continue to feel supported and strong and happy so they can remain committed to F-ing with the kyriarchy.
The best part are the conversations with adults. Unless you are a total asshole (and they are most definitely out there) you're not going to tell a 3rd grader he can't wear a pink scarf, hat and pants on camera. I'd like to think there is some serious thinking going on in those adult pauses.
A place where kids are free to be themselves and push adults to question social norms? That's what I'll be celebrating this 4th of July.
If you did not start your day like this, I suggest you do it now. Go ahead, do it. 'Cause I bet you can do it (and anything else you put your heart into) good. Especially if you do it in your pajamas.
This was the first book I ever read on my own (and didn't just memorize in my dire quest to learn to read), and once again, it is no surprise I have a masters degree in Women's Studies. Written in 1939, this short, beautifully illustrated children's book discusses sexism, racism and classism all in a tale about the Easter Bunny, of which there are five, and all of whom are well-to-do tall white rabbits. That is, until the little brown bunny shows them up and saves the day.
Strangely, I thought about this book a lot around the time I was getting married. One of my earliest memories is reading the book aloud, particularly the line, "and by and by she had a husband." I pronounced it "hush-band" and was thoroughly displeased with my kindergarten self (nerd, remember). And now, 25 years later, I still think "hush-band" every time I talk about my husband.
But that line has more to it than my realization that I would make mistakes. Not only does that line suggest that the bunny had a life prior to marriage, one of the major themes is that when she does get married she is burdened with numerous children (the need for birth control!) and must find a way to balance her desire to be an Easter Bunny with the care of her home and children (working women! valuing work in the home! work/family balance!). Though one wonders if that "by and by" part means husband-bunny took off and she is single mom too, since he is nowhere to be seen again.
In short, the book is amazing and I was glad to see that the New Yorker reviewed it last month:
Lyrical writing, glowing illustrations, fuel for the imagination, a sense of humor, and, of course, a message: plucky little girl bunnies who defy prejudice and believe in themselves can grow up to become fully actualized lady bunnies who raise smart, happy, kind children and do fulfilling work outside the warren.
So much gender bending, effing with stereotypes, win:
"Ian (B.S., mathematics; future sociology graduate student) modeling a t-shirt bought for him by his girlfriend, who found it in the children’s section of the Goodwill in Glendale, CA.The t-shirt has been destroyed… for the sake of humanity… and little girls everywhere" - Sociological Images
