The Breeders: No Presents for Baby's 1st Christmas

Yep, we did not buy our child any gifts this Christmas. We're taking the opportunity to make his first Christmas about more than a butt-load of gifts delivered by a jolly home intruder.

Besides, the kid is six months old. Yesterday, his favorite toy was a dishtowel.

Your Friday Awesome: Everyone Wants Grandbabies

This is family. This is love. This is pretty much the exact same reaction I got from my mom.

Rick Perry and the rest of the homophobes can suck it.

The Breeders: The Cleavers of the New Millenium

Who is that second kid? Foreshadowing...

We are in what may be the worst economy since the Great Depression and my husband just quit his job. 

He hated it. It was not his “calling” and the benefits sucked. I actually like my job and the benefits are great — not only does the entire family have medical, dental and vision coverage, but I had six months of maternity leave for cryin’ out loud.

We decided it made sense for Adam to quit his job, for one very simple reason — economics. It may sound counterintuitive — to decide to have less income does not seem like a smart economic decision — but daycare is expensive. Very expensive. Almost more expensive than our rent.

On average, a nice daycare will run you about half of one of our monthly salaries. Add in bus fare, lunches, maintaining your work attire, sick days for the inevitable daycare colds, and it didn’t really make sense for Adam to spend forty hours a week away from the kid just so we could afford to have someone else take care of him for forty hours a week.

And while I may be the only one with a dependable salary and benefits, Adam’s talents will also be bringing in some income. More importantly, he gets to spend time with the kid while launching a career he actually likes.

So, now I bring home (the majority of) the bacon and my husband fries it up in a pan. Surprisingly well, I might add. But he also does the laundry, mops the floors, illustrates and paints commission projects, and makes sure the kid is not only in one piece by the end of the day, but is enriched and happy.

I may have gotten the easier end of the deal.

Also posted on Alameda Patch.

The Breeders: Shop Local This Holiday

I was up at 4 a.m. on Black Friday, but rather than elbowing shoppers away from doorbuster deals, I was trying to convince the kid to go back to sleep ... again.

I've never participated in the Black Friday consumer extravaganza since I'm not really that big on shopping to begin with. Department stores are overwhelming and I have yet to be convinced that the deals are worth digging through the overstock discount stores.

Sure, I do love a good Target run (one-stop shopping!), but if I had the choice I would do all my shopping online. Amazon's free shipping has led to something of an addiction.

But, this year we've decided that we will eschew Target and Amazon and do all of our holiday shopping here in Alameda. We can reduce our carbon footprint by walking to the stores and not having anything shipped. And, we can support the local economy by doing what we already enjoy: walking through our adorable (albeit temporarily treeless) downtown, saying hello to friends and supporting our neighborhood businesses.

Of course, with a husband who is an artist, my love of holiday baking, and one very cute new expense, we'll also be giving a few homemade gifts.

...speaking of that artist husband of mine, if you want to join us in our local economy boost you can do that and support our schools this Saturday at the Alameda Education Foundation's Holiday Fair. Come by the Elks lodge and get really local by supporting your local mommyblogger's family economy and buy paintings and ornaments from her husband. The kid and I will be there between naps.

Also posted at Alameda Patch.

Your Friday Awesome: Adorable Arthur Recreates Movie Scenes

12 Angry Men Bunnies and Bears

Meet Arthur. He re-enacts scenes from movies. Seriously, how do these moms have the wherewithal to be so darn creative during postpartum hormonal craziness?

The American Beauty one is a little cringe-worthy except that Arthur looks absolutely adorable - and quite like my kid.

The Breeders: Your Mom's on Facebook

The first time I saw someone “poke” another person I was looking over the shoulder of a 19-year-old sophomore I was tutoring. Rather than writing a paper on Machiavelli she was alerting her softball teammate, who was next to her also not writing a paper for English 1A, that Melissa and Ryan were in fact dating — it was official on Facebook.

Instead of chastizing her for being off task, I was appalled (at the ripe old age of 26) that the youth of today were getting real-time updates on each other’s love lives. “Isn’t it weird to find out stuff like that on the internet?” I asked. “Um, no ... old, out of touch, grad student.”

Okay, she didn’t say that last bit ... but, at that point, only college kids were even allowed on Facebook, and I really didn’t need to know about my students’ partying.

I didn’t create an account until Facebook opened to people without a .edu email address, and I had to do so for work — when it became not just a place to keep tabs on your ex, but to promote projects and share news. As it became more popular and my friends joined, I made friends through it, and yes kept tabs on their love lives. But, then I had to figure out how to keep it both useful and appropriate for work and my social life.

And then everyone joined Facebook. Everyone. Not, just your friends, and your ex, and your boss, but your mom. Not only did you need to make sure to hide questionable photos from your boss, but your parents — and you had to hope they didn’t talk about your childhood underwear on the internet where your boss could read it.

My experience was a little different. I actually had to convince my mom to create an account and was only successful because shortly after she joined she wasn’t just mom but grandma. Now I am the “mom on Facebook” - and new moms (and dads) have a whole new online persona to figure out. Namely, how not to end up on STFU Parents.

Among the conversations we had about parenting before the kid was born, my husband and I laid some ground rules for our post-baby social media habits. We agreed that we would never share the contents of his diapers, naked baby butts (though they are ridiculously cute), change our profiles pictures to pictures of only our kid (though we don’t judge if you want to), and we wouldn’t complain about our kids on the internet. Then we wondered how much was too much? How many adorable pictures? How many milestones? How many hilarious quotes? We decided we’d figure it out as we went.

Then the kid was born, and he is adorable, and his milestones are many. The first few weeks were a veritable avalanche of baby photos. Too many? Maybe.

Not all of our friends have babies, but we are suddenly a fertile group and they are multiplying, so I’m sure for some folks it can be a little weird to suddenly see a feed full of rosy cheeked cherubs (and weird little alien old men when they are fresh out of the oven) when just last year it was all pictures of parties and exotic vacations. But, our friends are a creative and generous bunch so half (OK, maybe less than half) of the pictures I’m tagging with the person who designed or picked out the kid’s onesie as a sign of appreciation.

There is also that whole co-worker factor — do they really want to see that many pictures of my kid? Maybe not, but that is a pretty fertile group too, and since those at the top of the organizational ladder put pictures up of their kids I think I’m okay.

In the end, I’ve decided to be selective, but still pretty prolific — why? Because Grandma is on Facebook. What started for college kids and added twenty-somethings, and then coworkers has evolved into a place to for everyone - including Grandma, Great Uncle, second cousins and my first-grade teacher (no really, I tagged her in the picture of the kid cuddled up in the adorable blanket she knitted for him), and they all demand pictures of their darling boy.

Also, Facebook is a place to share who you are. Sure you can sculpt your personal brand, but my online persona isn’t that far off of who I am in real life, and now who I am is a mom —  a mom on Facebook. I figure if people don’t want to see that many pictures of the kid they can unsubscribe from my feed or just follow me on Twitter — though you’ll still get links to my mommy blog.

Also posted on Alameda Patch.

The Breeders: Back to Work

So much for my stay-at-home mama status. I'm now making frenemies with my breast pump.

The Breeders: The Honeymoon Is Over

My town decided to clear cut our main street as part of "revitalization." We (me and pretty much everyone else in town) are pissed. I tried to be a grown up about pointing out what a dumb decision it was.

The Breeders: Yard Sales Make Babies Cheaper

Yard sale booty.

I had completely forgotten that yard sale shopping for baby stuff isn't new to me. I spent the entire summer between my junior and senior year of high school driving around with my english teacher who had decided to open up a kids consignment shop after she had her baby.

I never imagined skills like knowing how to identify formula verses poop stains would come in so handy.

The Breeders: Where the Moms and Dads Are

This weeks post is my second list of local places to meet new moms, dads and your kids potential first friends.

When I was pregnant the idea of a "mommy group" struck me as a bit 1950's but it is nice to be able to whip your boob out amongst the ladies. However, even though it is 2011 I've only been able to find one "daddy group" and it highlights places you hang out with your kid and can drink beer. Yeah...

The Breeders: Date Night

We had out first night out since the kid was born. Yes, The Breeders went and saw Erasure, no irony there...

It was electropop awesomeness.

The Breeders: Mama Got a New 'Do

My new post on Patch is about my first real solo outing that I managed to have just shy of the kid's four month birthday. Better late than never, I guess.

Who knew that getting a haircut and going to Target were going to be a milestone? But they were. Since I was separated from him I actually had to refer to him by name multiple times, which not only gave me a much need sense of autonomy but also gave him his own.  

On a less dramatic note, I've also realized I need to remember to take pictures to pair with my posts before the sun goes down, rather than using my Hipstamatic app to make bad lighting look like something I planned for.

The Breeders: Breastfeeding Must Haves

I have a new post up on Patch. I have a lot to say about breastfeeding (much, much more so it will have to wait for another post...eventually) but this is more of a tips list.

Seriously, to the two friends who gave me Lansinoh and my showers - I love you more than you know, ladies.

The Breeders: I'm So Totally Bored, Mom!

 

At three months he is suddenly a little person who thinks nap time is so totally boring.

I'm a Bad Mommy Blogger

Hi again. So much for doing a bunch of writing on maternity leave...I've been a little busy.

But, I have been writing! One post a week. If I start in on Sunday I manage to turn it in by my self-induced Wednesday deadline. I joined the hordes of local bloggers on my local Patch. I even gave it a cute (and traffic generating) name.

My most recent post is about how I have no idea how mommy blogging is a thing considering how little time I have to feed myself, let alone write. You can see all of my posts, including the one about how I left the house covered in baby pee, here.

Introductions

So, yeah I haven't been opening my computer much lately. Facebooking from my iPhone? That I've become a pro at because Nana demands needs daily pictures of that little guy. Yep, he's been here for nearly six weeks - six weeks!!! Its amazing and exhausting and I am now totally cool with being covered with poop and spitup on a regular basis. More soon.

Posts, more posts...not poop or spit up.

Your Friday Awesome: Hurry Up and Wait

That was the view from me on Tuesday. You'll note that my toes are nowhere in sight. What you don't see is my swollen feet and sausage fingers that almost made me drop my phone while I took it. On Tuesday, I was 37 weeks pregnant and still at work. Today, I am still 37 weeks pregnant, but on my couch archiving all of my email and making sure (one last time) that my fabulous coworkers have what they need to take care of things while I'm on maternity leave...which means that come this Monday, I do not have to haul my 38 week pregnant butt through downtown San Francisco - and that, my friends, is awesome.

#musicmonday: Book of Mormon...THE MUSICAL!

Thanks to NPR you can stream the entire "Book of Mormon" original cast recording. Needless to say, when it comes to the Bay Area I am totally taking my raised-Mormon husband and cringe through the whole thing.

Your Friday Awesome: Don't Be a D!ck About It

While I think this should be embedded before most comment threads, there are a number of people in real life I may start singing this to.

I'm Two!

As of today this blog is two years-old. Its changed a lot since I started. Namely, its gotten less long-winded and more "look at this neat thing!" I'm okay with that. To put it bluntly, this last year has been a little busy and pretty exhausting. Rather than writing blog posts my body created a person - A PERSON. It was weird and tiring and kind of awesome.

Its neat though to have a record of stuff I've been thinking about for two years. I'm sure the next year will have completely different kinds of posts. In the meantime check out how angsty I was when I started. I have a feeling this next year will get back to some of that.

Your Friday Awesome: HATS!!!

"Beatrice! It’s like fallopian tubes meet Mickey Mouse ears." - Jill, Feministe

Seriously, I could kind of give a crap about the royal wedding, though I'm glad this time around it seems we have less "young, naive girl becoming a princess" and a bit more "worldly, educated woman becoming a princess" who actually seemed to enjoy herself a bit.

Either way, the hats did not disappoint.

Your Friday Awesome: 10 Year-Old's Rant on Gender Stereotypes

A couple of weeks ago I got to hang out with a friend's 10 year-old daughter. She was pretty awesome. We discussed how growing pains suck and the finer points of popular culture (Tiger Beat still exists!). Turns out she is not alone.

10 year-old Eliza in Indiana was inspired to write an "editorial" to the boys of the world after reading answers to the question, "What's the biggest difference between boys and girls?" in a Mini Boden catalogue.

Some highlights:

Dear Boys from around the World,

There is just one ting I have to say before I go on. STOP BEING SO STEREOTYPICAL!

...Like I said I HATE pink. I despise it. HACK See I spat on it. That's how much I hate pink.

...For one thing though I do like nail polish, but not just Boys like soccer. For example my friend Heidi is a master soccer player. You mess with her, she kicks you in the shins, or maybe just trips you on the field. Seriously I think you should stay away. For reals.

I'm with 'ya, Eliza. I also hated pink, purple and dresses. You can read the whole thing here.

#musicmonday: Yo-Yo Ma and Lil Buck

I love this. It feels like over the last few years we've been culturally trained so that a collaboration between "high" and "low" culture is not unique, but I think we still expect a beat to come in, the popular form outdoing the old. But without the booming bass track it seems like you actually appreciate the dance more. I'm no dance expert (10 years of recitals to Paula Abdul and Janet Jackson not withstanding), but a lot of the dance harkens to ballet and the ending outdoes many modern dance pieces.

Your Friday Awesome: Cool Chicks From History

Cool Chicks from History might just convince me that Tumblr is all its cracked up to be. It would have been my go-to source in junior high and high school every time I got to pick a subject for a research paper.

#musicmonday: Spring Fever

Let me tell you, that ain't love that's in the air. Evidently allergy meds made me blissfully unaware of just how gross spring can be. Antihistamines and decongestants, I will never take you for granted again.

Your Friday Awesome: The internet is made of cats

Its been a week. I am suddenly very pregnant, have a cold, am nursing my cat back to health - not to mention our government is full of fuckwits. Thankfully the internet is made up of videos about cats being cute.

#musicmonday: Columbus Children's and Gay Men's Choruses

I am a choir nerd. And a good choral performance can get me a bit weepy. The more members the more weepy. So, the melding of two choruses in support of the Trevor Project is just about enough to do me in.

Your Friday Awesome: Quite Literally

Are you awesome?

That is all.

Your Friday Awesome: OMG Cuteness

It's been another one of those weeks, so I needed this. Yes, please.

#musicmonday: Loretta

I finally watched Coal Miner's Daughter two weeks ago. This has been in my head ever since. Luckily, now whenever I see Sissy Spacek I won't just think of dirty pillows.

Your Friday Awesome: Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes

I'm not much for far-away sentiment in the wake of a disaster - it seems to make it about you rather than the actual victims and survivors - but today I noticed a trend in my RSS feed: multiple posts about one of my favorite children's books in response to the devastation in Japan.

Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes, touched me more deeply than any other book I read as a child. Creativity and hope in the midst of loss - caused by the reader's own country - is a pretty deep subject for a kid, but that book left a lasting impression on many young readers. In my case, it hit even closer. My grandparents met while working at Los Alamos.

But it seems I'm not the only one who folded paper crane after paper crane out of binder paper throughout elementary school, attempting to make smaller and smaller ones as you created squares out of rectangles. And it seems that you never forget how. I made that tiny one from a small post-it.

So here is to the awesome power of children's books.

#musicmonday: Ode to My Hooptie

This weekend I finally had to say good bye to the car I've driven since I was 16. The old girl wasn't quite as bad as this (she was only missing one hubcap), but when the horn became something akin to a No Whammy button it was characterized by more than one person as "a little hooptie."

I still loved her.

Your Friday Awesome: 100 Dinosaurs and the Awesome Foundation

The Awesome Foundation is really a thing. No seriously. They have chapters all over the world made up of ten people who dedicate themselves to support one project they deem to be "awesome" every month.

Well, (shameless spousal promotion ahead) this month my husband was picked by the San Francisco chapter. They are funding his public art/scavenger hunt project, 100 Dinosaurs. The project is a follow-up to 100 Robots for which he painted 100 unique robots and sold them for ten bucks each, just to see if he could. He did. 100 robots were painted, named and assigned functions - and all were sold before he painted #1.

He wanted to find another project to do and 100 Dinosaurs sounded awesome, but selling 100 of them didn't seem that exciting. Giving them away, however, did. And giving them away to strangers who had to go out and have fun finding them was an even better idea. That is where the Awesome Foundation came in. By giving him a micro grant, he could paint 100 Dinosaurs and give them away for free - really, come on, how awesome is that?

If you would like to try your hand at finding one of the dino paintings, be sure to follow the project's blog or his twitter. Most of the dinos will be hidden around San Francisco and the greater Bay Area but, thanks to some awesome friends, there will be a few hidden around the country and the world.

Here is the happy discoverer of Dino #2. Now doesn't that look like an awesome good time?

#musicmonday: 9 and 10 year olds take on Lil' Wayne

When nine year olds call you out on your misogyny, you done been served.

Your Friday Awesome: Roly Poly Polar Bears

You know what is not awesome? Sciatica. In fact, it totally sucks - especially when you have it so bad the massage therapist reacts, "Awww, you have sciatica as bad as an old, fat, drunk man!"

So there you go. Pregnant ladies and old, fat, drunk men have more in common than previously thought (we're also cranky). So here is a baby polar bear acting a little like he's drunk, and that my friends is awesome.

#musicmonday: Marvelous Mashups

So everyone and their mama downloaded the Girl Talk album and yeah it is pretty awesome. But what I think is even cooler than employing fair use to its fullest extent to create art, is that mashups are just one indicator of how art is being made in whole new ways thanks to technology that has become relatively cheap.

Girl Talk's album inspired a film maker to want to make an epic 71-minute video casting previously unknown dancers to show off their own style. But, you know "cheap" technology is a relative term, and you still need to pay for transportation and feed people. So, he turned to the internet (the same place you download All Day) and his Kickstarter goal was not only meat but nearly tripled. Sweet.

But, while Girl Talk gets all the hype, there are lots of other people making mashups too - including your little cousin thanks to Garage Band. I am particularly fond of the long running Bootie DJ's. You can download their Best of 2010 here.

If you are in the Bay Area, however, I would highly recommend actually attending Bootie, because there you'll see Smash-Up Derby - a live mashup band. They are amazing musicians and performers. If you want to dance your sweaty butt off alternating between jumping up and down to Nirvana and grinding to Cher (in the same song) go down near the stage. If you want a little more elbow room I recommend the balcony. Either way, I promise you will not be disappointed.

Your Friday Awesome: Who Said Marching Band Wasn't Awesome?

I love how much these kids are rocking out with tubas and flutes. I really wish they had video of how they performed it though - just how do you head bang in formation?

Your Friday Awesome: Corgi!

You know what is not awesome? Having a cold when you are pregnant. You never know just how awesome Nyquil is until you are stuck with only tea and saline spray to try and keep the snot and aches at bay.

Luckily, I have awesome friends who like to surf the internetz and find gems like this:



I watched that about ten times since anything more cute and exciting has me convulsing into a ball of snot. Yeah, its not pretty.

#musicmonday: My Grammys Recap

Justin Bieber DID NOT win Best New Artist. Esperanza Spalding did, proving that there is hope for this world.



I have a soft spot for banjos after living in Austin. I however do not believe that it is any more appropriate to groove out by humping your banjo as it is to do the same with a guitar. Not okay. I also still do not like Bob Dylan.



Oh and Gaga decided fashion is out. Creepy body modifications are in.

Oh, and THIS happened.

Your Friday Awesome: The Youths

At 31, it would be pretty easy to get disillusioned with the state of our youth if I was just exposed to mainstream popular culture. But, MTV and Clear Channel just push what they think the youth of today want so they can sell them (and those of us who might be older but still youthful) crap - they don't represent what the kids are actually up to. And what the kids are really up to is pretty damn awesome.

Recently my husband's band played a show at a local all ages club and his iPod, which they use to play some backing tracks on, was stolen off the stage. Now, he's gotten a lot of gear stolen in the 15 or so years he's been playing music, but off the stage while you are playing to a packed room of kids all of whom (besides some a-hole) are totally enjoying themselves? That's pretty brutal.

Well, the kids in that room who were having an awesome time (and many of whom were not at that show in particular), would not let injustice prevail. See, they are part of an burgeoning (or perhaps re-burgeoning) local independent music community that is all about just that - community. They are creative and talented and have a great time making stuff, whether it is music or zines (Yes, zines! In the age of the internet!) and they support others who do the same.*

So, last weekend during a "memorial show" for the pilfered iPod, my husband was presented with a brand new iPod that was purchased by the community. A bunch of people giving $5 or however much they could afford not only replaced the technology, but our faith in community. And that is totally awesome.

If you want to see a couple of these great bands, including my husband's, come out tonight to the aptly named new venue, The Future:

*At 31 and pregnant, my definition of kids is pretty loose so we are talking about anyone from 15 to probably 28, but that is even more heartwarming since they are all part of the same supportive community.

#musicmonday: Mama's Theme Song

Certain co-workers of mine have found it impossible not to sing a song with the lyric "mother" in them as they pass me in the hall. Today it was this one:



However, in my head that "mother" refrain turned into this:



Evidently, music re-popularized in 1992-1993 was preparing me for motherhood. Does anyone else have the urge to go play Rock Band now?

Your Friday Awesome: The Internetz

Yes, yes, proliferation of information...a meeting place for ideas...but really when it comes down to it the internet is really just good for one thing, sending and being sent adorable pictures of fuzzy things when you are having a shit of a day or week.

You're welcome.

Your Friday Awesome: Axe Cop

What happens when a 29 year-old decides to draw a comic written by his 5 year-old brother? Pure awesomeness, that's what.

Axe Cop seems absolutely insane to us who have been brainwashed by the logic of adulthood. But in kid world it makes perfect sense. Does the character eat something or accidentally get the blood of something on them? Oops! Now you are part lobster! Uh-oh! Now you can throw avocado grenades! Also, your name will be determined by your characteristics and/or powers, and it will change as they change - unless of course you are the main character. Also? Poop.

Its also a pretty interesting manifestation of how kids absorb the construction of heroes and villains. Notably, all of the main characters are men and with few exceptions the women that show up are bad or not so nice. So I appreciate the 29 year-old's attempt to incorporate more female superheroes.

Your Friday Awesome: Its (gonna be) a boy!

For those of you who don't know me in real life, this is happening. He's quite a bit bigger now, but this week the tech only gave us pictures of his junk or slightly creepy skull faces.

Despite the crazy science experiment that has become my body, it is really, really awesome. I was hesitant to start posting about pregnancy/parenting, but with this post I'm officially giving myself permission.

I have an increasingly proven theory that if you have a degree in Women's Studies or are a Women's Studies professor you are pretty much guaranteed to have a boy. Perhaps it is the universe saying we need more feminist men. Or, perhaps it is the universe's way of letting us off the hook so we don't have to deal with an onslaught of pink princess crap (though if down the line he wants to be a pink princess, more power to him). Either way, over the last few months my blogging brain has been going non-stop without an outlet, so I'm gonna give it one. Just don't start calling it a mommy blog.

#musicmonday: Sounds of (not so) Silence

This has been in my head all day. Now it is in yours. You're welcome.

PS: Does the shot of the groovin' audience member remind anyone else of the audience from MTV's Unplugged? Could have been in the Nirvana show, or maybe it was his kid.

#musicmonday: Dessa, Kick (some) Ass Lady Rapper

I was introduced to Dessa through my husband's friend who brought him along to review a show. He thought it would be funny since my husband used to be in DESA (I would link to this really awesome video that he and our friend made here, but Warner Music Group has decided it has rights to something written, sung, produced, directed and filmed by people whose content they have no rights over, and YouTube believes them, so here's my second favorite, but anyway...). Adam gave Dessa a DESA shirt and brought me home a CD, 'cause you know bad-ass lady, means Stephanie will totally dig it.

Of course he was right. Dessa cannot only sing, she can rap, and she writes some pretty amazing lyrics. At first listen I was a little disturbed by a theme that runs through both Dixon's Girl and Alibi, but after a couple of listens they still resonate.



In both, she reaches out to another woman who is being exploited or abused by a man. But, rather than offer to help them get services she offers an "alibi" or "bad advice." The alibi also pops up in the Dixon's Girl video, and while I won't publicly condone subverting taking the law into your own hands...the songs bear the truth of the many reasons women rely on friends rather than social services or the police, particularly financial dependence, whether it is providing shelter (Alibi) or income (Dixon's Girl).

They also reflect the relationships between women that provide this kind of support. Dixon's Girl is an amazing look at the life of a female rapper, from lack of women in the scene, to getting shows snowed out, and its pretty fun to watch.