Old Navy Supermodelquins a Comment on Higher Fashion?

When the "modelquin" campaign started I thought it was just a way to not have to pay human actors - and it was just kind of creepy. But, now I can't decide if the current Old Navy campaign is ridiculously clueless or awesomely self-aware.

A modeling competition that requires one to be "plastic" - look perfectly inhuman, devoid of any personality and ignoring biological necessities like blinking. Could it be a critique of the Make-Me-America's-Next-Top-Super-Model format that pretends modeling is about individual personality?

The ruse is loosing any shred of believability it had, and not just because Tyra seems a bit cuckoo now and again. ANTM's Mr. Jay's second job is as a fashion commentator for E! and that now means not only insulting celebrities (or more appropriately, their stylists) behind their backs with the Rivers, but shuttling them into the Glam Cam 360 to make sure we can really pick them apart.

Of course, we can't dissect your fashion if you are an actual living breathing person inside of it, so this year the entire Grammys pre-show consisted of Mr. Jay telling women to pose so as to best show off their dress - not themselves.

A prime example? When Paramore entered the camera the lead singer was stoked to be told they could face in what ever direction they wanted and, of course, to be "fierce," but oh no, Mr. Jay was sure to clarify that while the boys could jump around and have fun, it was her job to show off her outfit:

To quote: the camera works best "when the girls stand and actually rock the fashion and the guys have a lot of fun." Yep, fashion means no activity (and also only dresses, btw), but then again that is nothing new since its pretty damn hard to run and jump in a mini and stilettos.

And if we had any question about whether the fashion industry actually gives a crap about the women wearing the clothes, Paris fashion week recently included this:

Models as clothes hangers? You betcha. (Also, noted without comment: those pants are a 34" waist.)

Hell, maybe Margiela is making a commentary on the inanity of high fashion, too. But in this case, at least Old Navy's is a bit more fun. Afterall, when you lose the contest not only do you have to forfeit your dream of shilling cardigans for the masses, you must "hand in your stand" - the metal stick that is shoved up your butt.

What do you think? Commentary or just another example of fashion dehumanizing models?

Image from Jezebel.

Because I Can't Help Myself

Modern Day Mad Men Channel Pete Campell

So, Method (that designy home care line that smells of cucumber and first gained market share at Target) made a really really dumb ad:

People Against Dirty - Shiny Suds - (2009) :70 (USA)

Melissa McEwen of Shakesville (and the rest of the angry feminist blogosphere) pointed out that the ad was very unfunny and supported the culture of sexual exploitation and assault of women.

Method responded saying "we're sorry you're so sensitive, but oh well it's funny! Exploitation is bad...but, funny!" (I paraphrase).

Madison Avenue then found out that one of their own was being criticized by those angry overly-sensitive feminists and freaked out. Not once, but twice.

What did we learn from this little exercise? A few things:

1. It's not just PETA that thinks the protection of the environment should leave women to be (ahem) washed down the drain.

2. The big wigs in advertising have not progressed much past 1963 in their understanding of gender.

3. Perhaps the reason they refuse to move on is because it makes their job easy. Its much easier to remain within the status quo (even if exploitative and supportive of a violent culture) than to actually be creative.

Of course, we can always assume that Method didn't actually see how offensive the ad was to begin with, since you know, they work in an industry where this (WTF Michael Bay directed! No, seriously.) crap is the norm:



But, you know what? There is a pesky little thing called learning and until they figure out what they did was dumb, sorry Method, but I'll get my biodegradable cucumber scented fix somewhere else.

Duh, Tires are Only for Dudes

Thanks, Bridgestone for adding your self to list of things I'm not going to buy. Though I'm sure you don't really care since I'm a nag, and never a driver:

Sparkly Stalker Vamps Make Even Volvo Shiny

What was that about vampires?

If you've got time to complete twelve tests, or moons (groan), that push your Twilight knowledge - or in my case, Googling ability - to the test, than you too can be surrounded by the stalker-y protectionist steel of Edward Volvo. No, really.

Read all about it over at Mother Jones.

Cartoons Get Sexier - Except for Tinkerbell Who is a Lesbian

The sexification of the cartoon characters of my childhood is nothing new. Of course in the world of creepy marketing, by sexification I mean smaller torso's, giant heads, and inappropriate posturing...

First it was My Little Pony - that's right, ponies. Imaginary ponies, made sexier by raising the butt and giving them a come hither look:

Then it was Strawberry Shortcake. Somehow making her skirt longer made her creepy. Oh wait, I know it's that over the shoulder boudoir photo shoot vibe...

And then it was Rainbow Brite and her entourage, who hit puberty and became the primary colored lolitas:

Which is why I was actually excited when I saw the new version of Tinkerbell. Oh sure, she is still super skinny, blonde and suffering from lollipop syndrome, but what was once the most creepily sexual (and mute) cartoon character ever has had a reverse makeover. The only body modification she has undergone is having feet that are a bit larger so that she can walk now and has actually been given an outfit that won't flash her fairy bits.

But, Oh Noes! That means she is a lesbian. Yep, if your kid puts leggings and boots on under that mini dress, she is gonna grow up to like the ladies. But, hey, at least she won't be freezing her faerie ass off.

Tinkerbell image from Alas! A Blog, My Little Pony images from Celebrate Your Naughtiness (though not when it comes to ponies), Strawberry Shortcake from Annie.in.MN, Rainbow Brite from Jezebel.

Your Friday Awesome

We already new that Sweden was awesome, besides giving their citizens things like healthcare and parental leave, they have given the world Ikea. It turns out their sixth graders are just as with it as their parents.

The sixth graders reported Toys 'R Us to a self-regulatory agency within the International Chamber of Commerce because its 2008 catalog featured “outdated gender roles...boys and girls were shown playing with different types of toys, whereby the boys were portrayed as active and the girls as passive."

These are pages from the current ad for the area where I live:


Yep. Pretty much.

Evidently, the action was the culmination of what can only be assumed to be a pretty awesome lesson plan:

The group’s teacher explained to the local Smålandsposten newspaper that filing the complaint was the culmination of more than two years of “long-term work” by the students on gender roles.

Thumbing through the catalogue, 13-year-old Hannes Psajd explained that he and his twin sister had always shared the same toys and that he was concerned about the message sent by the Toys"R"Us publication.

“Small girls in princess stuff…and here are boys dressed as super heroes. It’s obvious that you get affected by this,” he told the newspaper.

“When I see that only girls play with certain things then, as a guy, I don’t want it.”

Classmate Moa Averin emphasized the importance of children being able to be who they want even if “guys want to be princesses sometimes”.

Right you are Moa.

OMG! Liv Dolls Totally Aren't Bratz, LOL

Here's an idea: if you set out to create a new toy with the mindset that you are going to break out of your trend of making "toys for boys," you are probably going to create a toy that won't offer a real alternative in the "girl aisle." Particularly if you think the problem with Bratz is their collagen-injected lips and inflexible joints, and that Barbie's only problem is that she sets her career sights too high.

You can read more about Spin Masters (no really, that is their name) attempt to give 6-10 year-old girls "what they really want" at Mother Jones.

Image via ShoppingBlog.

Update: Dante's Inferno Continues Marketing Fail

It looks like the promoters for EA's upcoming Dante's Inferno realized just what an epic fail the "Sin to Win" contest was and are attempting to buy back their reputation and morality.


According to Joystiq, EA sent checks for $200 (in some pretty fancy packaging) to gaming site editors complete with this little catch-22:

by cashing this check you succumb to avarice by hoarding filthy lucre but by not cashing it, you waste it, and thereby surrender to prodigality

In the same tradition of PixelPoet who was a runner-up in "Sin to Win" and provided EA with some suggestions as to what would put the prizes to better use, Joystiq's editor-in-chief Christopher Grant came up with a pretty awesome idea:

... how about this? How about we cash it, and donate all $200 to The White House Project, a nonpartisan, nonprofit organization "that aims to advance women's leadership in all communities and sectors – up to the U.S. presidency – by filling the leadership pipeline with a richly diverse, critical mass of women"? Of course, we'll make the donation in EA's name. It won't make up for Sin to Win, but the road to redemption's got to start somewhere, right?

Christopher Grant, you are my new favorite gaming blogger and this lady gamer has officially subscribed to your RSS feed.

In other gaming news, for everyone who rushed out to buy Beatles: Rock Band, if you download "All You Need is Love" from XBox Live for $1.99 proceeds will go to Doctors Without Borders. Small change, but they are also auctioning off Beatles themed consoles. As of today at noon, the bid for the first console stood at $7,500.

Photo from Joystiq.com

PS: It seems you just can't stay on top of awful gaming marketing. Codemasters (no, really) decided to promote Dirt2 with a nice little flash game that involves tattooing a woman's dismembered torso, particularly her breasts. Your mamas are so proud.

Because Only Douches Have Cars That Need a New Paint Job

It is always nice when companies help us choose from the vast array of service providers available. By actively targeting the douchebag demographic, it aides in my decision of whether or not to utilize their services. Thus is the case with Earl Scheib Paint & Body.

There I was just watching Discovery Channel - sure, it's got all that crazy hard science about if you really can create a soda/mentos fountain, but it also has animals and stuff so girls can watch it too - when I saw this:



This ad clearly caters to the "I can't keep my zipper up" demographic. But, that is totally cool, because women are just sooooooo emotional and will get all "that time of the month" on your shit.

Then I saw this one:



Here they are clearly catering to the "I think that girls that look like 1980's Malibu Barbie are like totally hot and my neck is so huge from workin' out that I can't button the first three buttons of my shirt" demographic. It also points out for us that a new paint job is much like a new spray on tan - it looks nice on TV, but weird in real life.

And then I discovered this gem on the interwebs:



In this one the dude-bros went really deep. It explores the origins of a young man spurned by women who only care about superficial material possessions, which leads him to reassert his masculinity by becoming the cheating, leering douchebag of the previous commercials.

Thanks Earl Scheib, for explaining the psyche of modern 1988-1992 man.

PS: You might want to think about revamping your slogan. One assumes that "Scheib Happens" refers to the common colloquial phrase "shit happens." Basic logic leads your consumer to believe that Sheib therefore equals "shit." Just a thought.

Go Army! ...Oh, Veterans? Eh, Good Enough

The 2010 United States defense budget is officially $533.7 billion, but has been estimated to be closer to $780 billion. The Department of Veterans Affairs budget is about $56 billion. That means that we spend 10 times as much to fight wars as we do to take care of the people who fought them.

Granted, weaponry is pretty damn expensive. So is getting soldiers to the two fronts we are currently fighting on (and the many other places were are present) and making sure that all 1.5 million active duty personnel and over 800,000 reservists have the resources they need - though the extent to which we do that appropriately is questionable. But, according the VA we also have 25 million living veterans, and a full 1/4 of the US population is eligible for benefits.

I am by no means an expert on military affairs, but as they say, money talks. And sometimes it speaks directly to you through advertising. Which is why when ads for a mental health hot line for veterans started showing up on every public transit system in the area, I took notice. Unfortunately, the initial relief I felt in knowing that there was a concerted effort being undertaken to address veteran's mental health was quickly overcome by incredulousness over the awful design.

If you look closely you'll notice that the proud American flag in the background looks like it was copy and pasted from the internet and then blown up, the outline of the soldier has some serious anatomical problems, and the god-awful yellow text is incredibly hard to read.

It turns out, that the grainy flag isn't just a dpi problem. Nope, the VA must have thought the grainy Stars and Stripes was "arty" because the graininess is the same on this ad that is four-times larger:

But, does design really matter? Yes, it does. While it is great that a concerted effort is being made to address the needs of veterans' mental health, these slipshod ads illustrate that while we have been forced to address the issue, it does not necessitate the same attention given to recruiting the soldiers who will eventually need these services.

The active military has moved past the print campaigns of yore into snazzy television commercials and flash-laden websites (granted the commercials now have softer, kinder feel). In fact, every branch of the military has a separate recruiting website.

The VA, however, only has one. And it looks like this:

It would be a fine website, if it were 1999. This is the Army one, where you can watch videos, play games and even have a virtual sergeant show you around:

Thankfully, there are many private citizens working with government agencies in an attempt to fill the gap and address veterans' needs. If you or anyone you know needs support, visit The National Resource Directory's (nicely designed) site.

Old Navy: Jeans for Every Stereotype!

Okay, forget the creepy "modelquins" commercials for a second. Old Navy has managed to once again be condescending to its customers. They have added a new style to their ridiculously named women's jeans that neatly packages their women customers into brightly colored, cotton, female stereotypes.

Previously, you could be slutty (the Flirt), a doormat (the Sweetheart), or a bitch (the Diva). Now you can be The Dreamer:


In other words, you're fat and you better push those curves into the appropriate shape.

Cause if you don't, you won't have a boyfriend to steal jeans from when you would rather not be a slutty, doormat, bitch.

The Sex & Gender Beat

I have a new post up at Mother Jones and it is once again filed under "Sex & Gender." As they say, write what you know.

But it is also part of the continued marketing fails. It is nice of companies to help me decide what NOT to buy.

Seriously, make something just for the ladies and you are probably gonna piss us off.