Because Only Douches Have Cars That Need a New Paint Job

It is always nice when companies help us choose from the vast array of service providers available. By actively targeting the douchebag demographic, it aides in my decision of whether or not to utilize their services. Thus is the case with Earl Scheib Paint & Body.

There I was just watching Discovery Channel - sure, it's got all that crazy hard science about if you really can create a soda/mentos fountain, but it also has animals and stuff so girls can watch it too - when I saw this:



This ad clearly caters to the "I can't keep my zipper up" demographic. But, that is totally cool, because women are just sooooooo emotional and will get all "that time of the month" on your shit.

Then I saw this one:



Here they are clearly catering to the "I think that girls that look like 1980's Malibu Barbie are like totally hot and my neck is so huge from workin' out that I can't button the first three buttons of my shirt" demographic. It also points out for us that a new paint job is much like a new spray on tan - it looks nice on TV, but weird in real life.

And then I discovered this gem on the interwebs:



In this one the dude-bros went really deep. It explores the origins of a young man spurned by women who only care about superficial material possessions, which leads him to reassert his masculinity by becoming the cheating, leering douchebag of the previous commercials.

Thanks Earl Scheib, for explaining the psyche of modern 1988-1992 man.

PS: You might want to think about revamping your slogan. One assumes that "Scheib Happens" refers to the common colloquial phrase "shit happens." Basic logic leads your consumer to believe that Sheib therefore equals "shit." Just a thought.